It’s a scorcher again today and Ashley’s car is ready to do some cooking. Pumping toxic steam in the air is so last year for her four-wheeled girlfriend, Becky the Beetle.

Becky’s new guilty pleasure to relieve the days and hours of boredom sitting around on a parking grill and twiddling her fan belt in traffic is to get some heat going on down there.

Tsk tsk. Not THAT kind of heat. I have a very special post category in mind for impatience of the salacious kind. No, this Car Not Waiting is ready to scorch the skin off the back of Ashley’s freshly waxed thighs.


The front door swings open and Ashley emerges covered in a thin veil of dew and dabbing her face with powder while madly thumbing her status into the little birdie in her smart phone: “just emailed the contract C U at 2”.

She calls her next client while she wiggles her power skirt through the parking lot. “The multitasking female vixen at her finest,” she smiles to herself.

Yes! That’s the spirit of a Woman Not Waiting! Now all she needs is a teeny weeny nudge from the Great Gazoo and she’s all in! Perhaps a little “chance” encounter is in order?


Ashley approaches her car as she beeps the door locks open, still on the phone. “4 works for me. See you then. Bye.”

She stops and stares at the windshield in disbelief, then up at the sky, then back at the windshield. Meanwhile, a beautifully dressed curly-haired woman walks by and laughs. “I think someone is trying to tell you something.”

Ashley turns around annoyed but quickly breaks into a huge smile. “Vanessa Steward! Oh My God! You look amazing! I haven’t seen you in ages!”  The women give each other a sweltering hug. “And look at your shoes. I totally LOVE them! Where did you get such awesome heels?”

Vanessa does a little flick of her leg. “Aren’t they? I got them off a local shoe designer. They kick up some mean pavement I tell you. I was just strutting to grab lunch on 10th Street. Do you want to join me?”

“Sure! My 12 o’clock cancelled so I’m free until 2.”

Ashley pulls Vanessa over to the windshield. “Can you believe this? I even purposefully parked away from the tree this time and there’s even more crap on it.” She shakes her head as she walks back to the driver’s side. “I’ll drive. Hop in.”

Ashley opens the door and a wave of steam rushes out. Vanessa stretches over to grab Ashley’s arm but she’s too late.

Ashley sits down on the searing leather seat and squeals like a lobster. Becky the Beetle appears to giggle mischievously as her owner bolts out of the car rubbing the back of her thighs.

Vanessa giggles in tune. “Definitely trying to tell you something.”

“I’ll turn on the air conditioning for a while and then we can go.” Ashley places two fingers gingerly onto the steering wheel, starts the engine, blasts the AC, and shuts the door. “There! That’ll fix her.”

Becky the Beetle is stupefied. “This women is relentless,” she whispers under her hood. “Perfect! Once her heart shifts there will be no stopping her. And I might even get that sexy electric conversion kit I have been headlighting all these years. OK. Be strong Becky. This is your moment. The other cars are watching. And now for my Oscar-winning performance…”

Cough. Cough. Cough. Hack. Wheeze. Hack. Wheeze. And one final puff. “Tell Herbie I’m sorry. It was never meant to be.” Engine line flat.

Vanessa looks over at the steam coming out the front and points. “Uhmmm. Ashley?”

“Oh crap! She overheated. How far did you say it was?” Ashely locks up and spies a cab in the distance, but someone going in the opposite direction nabs it.

“Just 9 blocks. Come on. We’ll keep to the shady side and catch up on the way.” Vanessa ushers Ashley to the sidewalk. “I’m not waiting for a cab.”

Vanessa takes one quick glance behind at Becky flashing a headlight at her. She responds with a quick wink and a crooked smile. The stage is all hers now…

…to be continued in Plastic Seashells